In a world of science, sorcery, and savage absurdity, only eight to nine hundred beings, maybe more, have what it takes to rise to power. Even if your character is not one of those beings, you can still choose a race, class, and background from the options below, and get out there in the way of those beings. Adventure awaits! After you read through this!

The Zolkron Valley Mall region of Sajak Prime is where many stories begin. It's the renowned center of retail savings throughout the Nether Regionz. Local tavern and innkeepers encourage small, diverse groups of strangers to gather in small "parties" at their establishments. within earshot of all sorts of conspirators.


How hairy and angular are your various parts?
STEP 2 - CLASS What do you want to be when you grow up?
STEP 3 - ABILITY SCORES How bright are your bulbs?
STEP 4 - BACKGROUND What is your overall deal?
STEP 5 - POWERS Do you have any upgrades?


Select your character's race from these various inhabitants of the Greater Zolkron Valley Region or roll a d20 if you dare:
  1. HUMAN - The most boring of all the humanoids.
  2. BEASTPERSON - Savage humanoid two-toed ungulates.
  3. KNUCKLE-DRAGGER - Hulking 1/4 ogres.
  4. DWARF - Stout subterranean humanoids.  
  5. ELF - Lithe, enchanted people of the forest.
  6. FIREBELLY - Small frog folk. 
  7. FUNGALOID - People made of fungus. The good kind.
  8. GNOME -  Diminutive tricksters fairyfolk. 
  9. HALF-HUMAN - Half human, half something else. Split down the middle!?
  10. JAGULAR - Powerful cat folk. 
  11. WASTOID - Polychromatic mutants of the waste.
  12. WOOF - Wild dog folk.
The description of each race includes traits that are common to members of that race as described in the following categories.

Ability Score Increase. Every race details adjustments for one or more of a character’s ability scores.
Age. The age entry provides a brief description of each race’s typical lifecycle. You can choose any age within the described range for your character.
Alignment. Many races have tendencies toward certain alignments, described in this entry. These are not binding for players but can help you better define your character.
Size. Most characters are Medium, roughly 4 to 8 feet tall, while a few races are Small, between 2 and 4 feet tall. Certain rules affect Small creatures differently, such as the limitation on wielding heavy weapons explained in the Weapons & Equipment section. The random measurement tables provided are optional.
Speed and Movement. Your speed determines how far you can move when traveling as described in the Adventuring rules, and Combat. Other movement restrictions and advantages may apply.
Languages. By virtue of your race, your character can speak, read, and write certain languages.


Next, choose your character class from the options here or roll a d00 if you dare:
  1. BARBARIAN - The thickest skulls in the valley. 
  2. BARD - Keytar wielding showpersons. 
  3. ENFORCER - Galactic Council emissary.
  4. FIGHTER - You know. The folks that do all the warring.
  5. MARTIAL ARTIST - Highly trained hand-to-hand combat practitioner.   
  6. ROGUE - Rhyming and stealing.
  7. SHAMAN - Nature freaks.  
  8. SORCERER - Wield the dark, sticky, nasty, unknown.
Each class grants you access to various abilities.

Is a character muscle-bound but not that bright? Charming, yet dense? Nimble and a little dopey? The six ability scores provide a quick description of your character’s physical and mental qualities. Roll 3d6 six times and assign the results to the following abilities as you see fit, the apply your racial bonuses:
  • Strength, measuring physical power
  • Dexterity, measuring agility
  • Constitution, measuring endurance
  • Intelligence, measuring reasoning and memory
  • Wisdom, measuring Perception and Insight
  • Charisma, measuring force of personality
See the Ability Scores page for complete rules on applying these scores.  


Every story has a beginning. Your character’s Background reveals where you came from, how you became an adventurer, and your place in the world. Different backgrounds provide different skills, languages, equipment, personality traits, quirks, and alignment suggestions. Round out your character by choosing a background, your alignment based on your choices so far, and skills and languages as applicable.
  1. CULTIST - Fanatical member of a weird-ass cult, right down to the haircut. 
  2. DILUTED CLONE - Seventh copy of a war hero. 
  7. MALL GOTH - 
  8. MALL LORD - 
  9. MIDCARDER - Tests of strength, skill, and pageantry to the delight of the crowd.
  10. NINJA UNION 404 - Thought you had to be lightning quick and invisible? Not if you're union.
  16. THE SALTED - Corporeal ghost sailor from the Eversalt. 
  17. WASTELAND RIPPER - Motorcycle gang member from the Ut'ter Waste
Alignment. Save for a few commercially zoned city-states, Sajak Prime is far from a polite society. If someone has bad intentions there's not a lot of social pressure to discourage them from letting you know. It's expected that for every village of squishy peasant farmers minding their own business there is a jagged-toothed sorcerer in the nearby woods waiting for an opportunity to steal their sacred beans and shove an elder. Additionally, the veil between the material world and the multiverse is thin on Sajak Prime. Extra-dimensional forces and beings are constantly exerting themselves on the Nether Regionz. Your race, class, background, and patron demigod if applicable might all influence your selection from the nine distinct alignment combinations:
  • Lawful Good (LG) creatures can be counted on to do the right thing as expected by a righteous society. Planetars, worshipers of Orangulus, and most elderly nerds are lawful good. 
  • Neutral Good (NG) folk do the best they can to help others according to their needs. Many Cloud Giants, and most Gnomes are neutral good. 
  • Chaotic Good (CG) creatures act as their conscience directs, with little regard for what others expect. Copper Dragons, many elves, and unicorns are chaotic good. 
  • Lawful Neutral (LN) individuals act in accordance with law, tradition, or personal codes. Many monks and some wizards are lawful neutral. 
  • Neutral (N) is the alignment of those who prefer to steer clear of moral questions and don’t take sides, doing what seems best at the time. Bug people, many Shaman, and humans are neutral. 
  • Chaotic Neutral (CN) creatures follow their whims, holding their personal freedom above all else. Many barbarians and rogues are chaotic neutral. 
  • Lawful Evil (LE) creatures methodically take what they want, within the limits of a code of tradition, loyalty, or order. Devils, Blue Dragons, and Hobgoblins are lawful evil. 
  • Neutral Evil (NE) is the alignment of those who do whatever they can get away with, without compassion or qualms. Many drow, some Cloud Giants, and Goblins are neutral evil. 
  • Chaotic Evil (CE) creatures act with arbitrary violence, spurred by their greed, hatred, or bloodlust. Demons, Red Dragons, and orcs are chaotic evil.  

If you're eligible, next choose your power(s) from those presented on the POWERS page, or from any in the Nether Regionz Quarterly.



As your character completes quests and overcomes challenges, they gain experience, represented by Experience Points. A character who reaches a specified experience point total advances in capability. This advancement is called gaining a level as detailed in the chart below.

When your character gains a level, their class grants additional features as detailed in the class description, including increased Proficiency Bonuses, and Ability Scores (capped at 20).

Your character also gains an additional Hit Die with each level. Roll that Hit Die, add your Constitution modifier to the roll, and add the total to your hit point maximum. When your Constitution modifier increases by 1, your hit point maximum increases by 1 for each level you have attained. For example, if your 7th-level Fighter has a Constitution score of 17, when he reaches 8th level, he increases his Constitution score from 17 to 18. thus increasing his Constitution modifier from +3 to +4. His hit point maximum then increases by 8.

01+2Racial Features and Starting Powers
3002+2Class Feature
9003+2Background Feature
2,7004+2Ability Score Improvement or Power
6,5005+3Class Feature
14,0006+3Background Feature
23,0007+3Ability Score Improvement or Power
34,0008+3Class Feature
48,0009+4Background Feature
64,00010+4Ability Score Improvement or Power
85,00011+4Class Feature
100,00012+4Class Feature

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